Rate this poem 1-10 and comment please?

The smell of spring fills the air,



There are wild flowers everywhere,



The wind blows softly through the meadow grass,



It wispers that winter has passed,



I was once here eight years before,



When I was free to run, to play and explore,



What happy times those were then,



Not a care, not a worry, life would soon begin,



So far away those times seem now,



Yet the years have passed, I don't see how,



The world was once a playhouse, built for me,



A enchanted kingdom, Of youth and peace,



Now I see the world for what it has always been,



A mixing pot, of ugly things,



Like hate and greed, lust and lies,



Happiness and hope lay down and die,



There is no purpose, no place to go,



Nothing left for me to know,



I will once more leave this quiet place,



This peaceful meadow, I once embraced,



My spirit has died, but I will live on,



Untill every last drop of hope is gone,



Hope in the future, to restore the past,



Those happy times that cannot last,



As the wind gently blows the meadow grass,



I know that winter has now passed.

Rate this poem 1-10 and comment please?
It has an element of sincerity but that is spoilt by the immature nature of the verse.



Subtle is the name of the game - allowing your reader to find their own meanings in your words. Otherwise you are only writing an autobiographical story.



These are meant as constructive comments and should not be taken as negative.



I would say that you have a talent that could be tutored into something more intellectual which will prove to be a lot more satisfying to you.



You should read and keep reading poetry. Try Wordsworth or Keats or Tennyson (if you are going down the narrative trail) - not to copy but to see how they suggest and not lead you to your own conclusions and pictures.



Keep it up - the world needs less war and more poets!



6/10
Reply:If you would like to contact me I would gladly speak with you

Isobel : kelly@bridge2far.orangehome.co... Report It
Reply:I love this 9 n a half on 10 this is mah highest marks on yahoo answers!!!!! N keep up da great wrk!!!!
Reply:9 and a half.its really good but you spelled somethings wrong.like whisper.you wrote wisper
Reply:ayone who tells you that this isnt good , doesnt have a soul



i have just read a poem by someone else on here and this one is a million times better



one little thing , it should be AN enchanted kingdom



its got to be 9 / 10



keep writing



all the best

Ian
Reply:i give ya a 8 because it is a good poem but why did you write it. and what is it called. the reason i gave an 8 is because you have no title for it. maybe next time ill give ya a 10 keep it up ok
Reply:1



Because it's actually very poor.



Sorry, but you need to improve yourself very well.
Reply:9/10. Very well done, I like it alot.
Reply:At first i thought it was cheesy because it had such made-up rhymes but then as i read more, i began to appreciate the emotion you are trying to express. Your poem is beautiful. Depressing, but beautiful.
Reply:my friend i give you a 10/10 nice very nice indeed well done if this is actaully youre work than maybe you should think about putting some of ya ideas into a book because i think you might have some undiscovered talent there
Reply:The 4th line has a spelling error (wHisper). I would rate this a 9. Although it evoked feelings of sadness, I believe many people will relate to it. It is very well written.
Reply:Rate it a 4. Bit predictable, usual teenage angst.

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