Married girl only to answer please?

My wife of ten years used to be pretty wild in bed, but after she had our first child (there were some complications she thought she might loose the baby, but didn't )she just went off sex, we still do it a couple of times a week, but it's become sort of routine. I kmow things can slow down a bit after being married a while but this happened suddenly and her drive hasn't come back at all. I have tried everything, I think I'm quite thoughtfull, I pull my weight with chores around the house, bring her flowers cook her romantic meals, take her out (when we can get baby sitters) give her breaks from the kids regularly, run her hot baths with essential oils and candles....nothing works. I tried talking to her about it a few years ago but she thought I was critisizing her and became defensive so I dropped it. One other time she told me that she really loves me but prefers to cuddle up than have sex. everything else in our marriage is great but how can I get back the PASSION in our sex life.

Married girl only to answer please?
You have fallen into a routine- yes. Your wife might respond if you suggest taking salsa lessons together. Dancing together is the most basic form of flirting. The exercise will also increase her energy and hopefully desire for you.

Then take her on holiday to rustic Spain for some live salsa music.

If you are a man that thinks he can't dance, give it a go, it's all about learning routines - you will get it.

Good luck,

Jo
Reply:MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO FOR A HOLIDAY SOMEWHERE



SHE IS USING HER HORMONES ON THE KID
Reply:This may sound cliche...but have you tried therapy.



Simply talk to her. But more about the PASSION and not the sex part. You said you are still having it a couple nights week...but is she just not passionate...or not into it. Maybe she has something buried in the back of her mind that started when she was last pregnant. I don't know. I don't know. Don't let her get defensive. Stop her when she does. If she has no reason, she shouldn't be defensive. Does she have a reason to be defensive? A reason you may not know about.



She may have just lost her libido and it has nothing to do with you. But in that...it does have to do with you because your needs are not being met. Maybe she is unhappy with something. Sit her down and work through it...don't drop it because she may get defensive. You are not criticizing her and let her know that. Suggest therapy. And I only say that as it brings another perspective in and allows you 2 to talk about it with being defensive. Because if it turns into that...the root of it will try to be found and discussed.
Reply:i dont know how old you are and how old she but girls normaly reach thier sexual peak around 30 but it could be post pardom you can have that for a long time or she is just bord of you or maybe she is falling outta of love with you i couldent make love to my husband after we had two kids together and than everything went down hill from there we were together 13 years and when he touched me i felt a gross feeling he made my body crawl and then we started arguing all the time and then he punched me and broke my nose and then i left him i hope this helps and everything goes well with your relationship and you guys put your relationship back together
Reply:You sound like a great guy, every woman's dream, and I'm sure your wife loves you very much, it may be a hormone problem, maybe she should mention it to her doctor, be patient, try to understand.