Friday, January 27, 2012

Could i have some feedback on these new poems?

Sami’s Memory



A memento of her memory

transformed to coldness to convey

all the warmth in the world

tenderness that will forever stay



The innocent scent of first love

Places in five cities forever still

As though our spirits play in time

In the divinity of free will



My head against her heart

silences the singing sands

Gives her a chance to build inside

a world where we will forever dance



the first scent will be the last

white envelope of new perception

to my daily Christening

In the warm water reception



the poetry in me still harvested

from a soul planted in the earth

of a time when all is forgiven

in the miracle of rebirth



Grayness



Feelings innate and unexplainable

Fall in the rain, an unwelcome gift

Making the world an unbearable gray

I always thought I would celebrate

Now, the ambiguity of gesture

marked by the innocence of her gaze

My fuzzy eyes seeking hope in the haze

longing for the rebirth of the rainbow

For strangers could be anything

From saviors to Satans

When the forever fog lifts

over the oceans of coveted sleep,

Will unquestioned trust and unrequited love

Be given so unabashedly?

Yes.





Pregnant



Impregnate me with the seed of inspiration

Wild flowers that wilt in my womb

could be anything if you’d allow

become fertile pieces of denial

My fingers give a bitter lonely birth

Of never knowing human touch

Renounce our offspring as mine alone

Loveless love children I long to give your name.

Could i have some feedback on these new poems?
the last one was real weird. i think you should cultivate the stranger type stuff. its different. your own.
Reply:Those poems were awesome. They were so descriptive with detail!!
Reply:Awesome if u ask me. I really loved Sami's memory.


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