like a leopard quick and fast.
Looking beautiful and exotic
like wild flowers.
Dodging steep holes and debris
in the dark streets.
driving crazily from the loud
sirens of police,
and danger
the night will
bring.
My english teacher wants us to write a poem about a car. Do you like the poem that I wrote? plz answer?
Every time I see someone asking for advice on poetry, I want to cringe. Usually, it is the most talentless, amateurish work, so any suggestions would be like putting a bandaid on a severed hand.
However....!!!
YOUR poem is really amazingly good. Seriously, this is fine work. It reminds me a little of the Candadian rock group RUSH, whose lyrics are more like poetry than just musical lyrics. Here's something similar, called "Red Barchetta" by RUSH:
My uncle has a country place
That no one knows about.
He says it used to be a farm
Before the Motor Law.
And on Sundays I elude the Eyes,
And hop the Turbine Freight
To far outside the Wire
Where my white-haired uncle waits.
Jump to the ground
As the Turbo slows to cross the borderline.
Run like the wind
As excitement shivers up and down my spine.
Down in his barn
My uncle preserved for me an old machine
For fifty-odd years.
To keep it as new has been his dearest dream.
I strip away the old debris
That hides a shining car:
A brilliant red Barchetta
From a better vanished time.
I fire up the willing engine
Responding with a roar.
Tires spitting gravel,
I commit my weekly crime.
Wind
In my hair
Shifting and drifting
Mechanical music
Adrenaline surge...
Well-weathered leather,
Hot metal and oil,
The scented country air.
Sunlight on chrome,
The blur of the landscape,
Every nerve aware.
Suddenly ahead of me
Across the mountainside
A gleaming alloy air-car
Shoots towards me, two lanes wide.
I spin around with shrieking tires
To run the deadly race
Go screaming through the valley
As another joins the chase.
Drive like the wind
Straining the limits of machine and man.
Laughing out loud with fear and hope
I've got a desperate plan.
At the one-lane bridge
I leave the giants stranded at the riverside.
Race back to the farm
To dream with my uncle at the fireside.
* - *^ * - * _ * ^ - * ^ _ * ^ _ * - *^ * - * _ * ^ - * ^ _ * ^ _
If you are interested in music, you should consider writing song lyrics part time and see where that takes you.
Reply:The poem is really great. It seems to have two parts, one where the it appears quick and beautiful and exotic with great dexterity. Then the second part which is very short has it driving crazily from the loud sirens. Do you sense any of this poem in your own life.
Reply:Very creative work you got there.
Reply:no dont listen to any of those other point-hungry liars...your poem stinks.
Reply:your poem is good,i like it anyway. good luck
Reply:Great! This is high octane.
Reply:nice
Reply:nice
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